Bad Advice

Before the fight, Mike's trainer told him to get a piece of Holyfied. Oops, bad advice.

Direct Shot

She swings and her ball goes flying and hits a man, who immediately grabs his crotch and falls to the ground, writhing in agony. The woman runs over and says "I'm a nurse, please let me help you!" and she reaches into his pants and starts massaging his penis. The nurse asks the man "how does that feel?" He responds "that feels great! But my thumb still hurts like hell though!"

Football V Cricket Matches

Q: Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches?
A: They prefer cricket matches!