Ponderings collection 20

• Why is the word abbreviation so long?
• How come you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
• Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
• You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
• Since Americans throw rice at weddings do orientals throw hamburgers?
• Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
• Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
• Why do people without out a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?
• Why do you ask someone without a watch what time it is?
• Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

Write In C

WRITE IN C (sung to The Beatles "Let it Be")
When I find my code in tons of trouble, Friends and colleagues come to me, Speaking words of wisdom: "Write in C." As the deadline fast approaches, And bugs are all that I can see, Somewhere, someone whispers" "Write in C." Write in C, write in C, Write in C, write in C. LISP is dead and buried, Write in C. I used to write a lot of FORTRAN, for science it worked flawlessly. Try using it for graphics! Write in C. If you've just spent nearly 30 hours Debugging some assembly, Soon you will be glad to Write in C. Write in C, write in C, Write In C, yeah, write in C. Only wimps use BASIC. Write in C. Write in C, write in C, Write in C, oh, write in C. Pascal won't quite cut it. Write in C. { Guitar Solo } Write in C, write in C, Write in C, yeah, write in C. Don't even mention COBOL. Write in C. And when the screen is fuzzy, And the edior is bugging me. I'm sick of ones and zeroes. Write in C. A thousand people people swear that T.P. Seven is the one for me. I hate the word PROCEDURE, Write in C. Write in C, write in C, Write in C, yeah, write in C. PL1 is 80's, Write in C. Write in C, write in C, Write in C, yeah, write in C. The government loves ADA, Write in C. 

Be Nice

Never make fun of a fat guy with a lisp... He's probably thick and tired of it.