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Obama Time

Michelle Obama dies and goes to heaven, and she's in the waiting room to see Jesus.
There are clocks everywhere, not a single square inch of wall or ceiling doesn't have a timepiece. Some of them don't seem to be moving. St. Peter comes out and calls her name.
"I'm here" she says. "What's with all the clocks?".
St. Peter says "Everyone who has ever lived has a clock here. Every time they tell a lie, their clock moves forward by one minute. This is George Washington's clock. As you can see, it's one past midnight, so he only told one lie."
"Oh" Michelle said. "Where's my husband's clock?"
"That's in Jesus' office" St. Peter replies. "He uses that as a fan".

Anonymous

Filipino Pilots

Q: What do you call two Filipino pilots?
A: A pair of pliers.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Floating Television

Q: What do you say when you see your television floating at night?
A: "Drop it nigga."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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