Bar Celebrating

Tim Shandy stepped into the Warm Spoon, a popular Galway tavern. To Mike Callahan, the bartender, Shandy said "Mike, I'll be havin' three whiskeys." Callahan set up three glasses and began to pour. "Now, Timothy, it's not the usual thing for you to ask for three whiskeys. It's celebratin', you are." "Ahh, ye know me too well, Micheal, ye do. Truth, and I'm celebrating me first blow job." Callahan smiled benevolently and set a fourth glass on the bar. "Now, that's special," he said. "For an old customer like y'rself, here's a fourth on the house, so I may be sharin' your celebration with you." Shandy shook his head, and replied "'Tis verra kind of ye, Micheal, but I'm thinkin' if three won't get rid of the taste, four won't either."

Skipping School

I hate school and got caught skipping the other day. My principal said, "Walk normal next time, you fruitcake."

Amsterdam Semester Abroad

Possible Courses In Amsterdam:

• Essentials of Bong Design: Discover earth, water, wind, and fire as the tools you'll need to get rid of your syllabus... some killer hashish.
• Smuggling 101: Who says the party's over? Years of commerce have made this Northern culture an expert at turning a rectum into a set of luggage.
• Medieval Condom Use: Even Sir Lancelot had a rash. Discover how centuries of crotch scratchers protected their privates with specially designed shields.
• The Development of Puke: Our native-born instructors take students from heaving to hurling.
• Architecture of Early Modern Brothels: With the aid of walking tours and guest hooker lecturers.