Relationship Jokes

Blonde Cheating Test

A blonde wife wanted to know how her husband would react if she ran-out on him. She wrote a note saying how she was tired of their marriage and wasn't going to put up with him anymore. She left the note on the kitchen table and hid under the bed when she heard her husband open the garage.
Her husband came into the kitchen, saw the note and then wrote something on it. Immediately he started dancing and singing while changing into another pair of pants. He then called someone on his cell phone and said, "Hey babe the idiot finally had enough of me, she's gone, gone gone! I'll be over in 10 minutes! He then rushed out and drove off.
The blonde wife comes out from under the bed with tears in her eyes and reads what her husband wrote on the note. "I can see your feet sticking out from under the bed. I've gone to buy some beer."

Categories: Blonde Jokes (Dumb Blonde Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Break-up Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Anonymous

Thanksgiving Gas

There once was an old couple who had been married for thirty years. Every morning the old boy would wake up and give off an enormous fart, much to his long suffering wife's annoyance. "You'll fart your guts out one of these days," she always complained. The day after Thanksgiving the wife decided to have her revenge and got up early, placing some turkey giblets in the bed next to the old boy's arse. While making breakfast downstairs she heard his usual morning fart reverberate through the floorboards followed by a scream. Twenty minutes later a rather shaken man came downstairs. "You was right all along Missus," the old man says, "I finally did fart my guts out, but by the grace of God, and these two fingers, I managed to push 'em back in!"

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man) , Holiday Jokes (Thanksgiving Jokes) , Disease / Afflictions Jokes (Fart Jokes)
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Anonymous

Guts and Balls

There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls.  We've all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:
GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask:  "Are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass   and having the Balls to say: "You're next, Chubby."
I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically speaking, there is No difference in the outcome. Both could result in death.

Categories: Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Alcohol Jokes
Anonymous
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