A little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull." The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, "If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant." The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, "What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!" The kid smiles and says, "I would be a bus driver!"
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says, "We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump. At least one of you will survive." The four open the door and look out below. The Englishman takes a deep breath and hollers, "God Save The Queen," and jumps. The Frenchman gets really inspired and hollers, "Viva La France," and he also jumps. This really pumps up the Texan so he hollers, "Remember the Alamo," and he grabs the Mexican and throws him out of the plane.