Mystery Meat

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.
The dad said, "Well it's what Mommy calls me sometimes."
The little girl screamed to her brother, "Don't eat it. It's an asshole!"

Polish Hunting Expedition

Two Polish guys went away on their annual hunting expedition, and by accident one was shot by the other. His worried companion got him out of the deep woods, into the car, and off to the nearest hospital. "Well, Doc," he inquired anxiously, "is he going to make it?" "It's tough," said the doctor. "He'd have a better chance if you hadn't gutted him first."

Let Me Out

Q: You're in a room with no doors and no windows, and all you have is a baseball bat. How do you get out?
A: Strike 1! Strike 2! Strike 3! You're out!