Marion Barry Quotes

Some of the finest quotes from the Honorable Marion Barry:

• "The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against diversity during this long period of increment weather."
• "I promise you a police car on every sidewalk."
• "If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very very low crime rate."
• "First, it was not a strip bar, it was an erotic club. And second, what can I say? I'm a night owl."
• "I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term. Where's Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and Michael Dukakis no less."
• "The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist. The law of gravity is racist."
• "I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria, or Israel. As mayor, I am an international symbol. Can you deny that to Africa?"
• "People have criticized me because my security detail is larger than the president's. But you must ask yourself: are there more people who want to kill me than who want to kill the president? I can assure you there are."
• "The brave men who died in Vietnam, more than 100% of which were black, were the ultimate sacrifice."
• "I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves. The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican."
• "What right does Congress have to go around making laws just because they deem it necessary?"
• "People blame me because these water mains break, but I ask you, if the water mains didn't break, would it be my responsibility to fix them then? WOULD IT!?!"
• "I am a great mayor; I am an upstanding Christian man; I am an intelligent man; I am a deeply educated man; I am a humble man."

Oregon Crazy Law

• Canned corn is not to be used as bait for fishing.
• Ice cream may not be eaten on Sundays.
• Looking for more dumb laws?
• Dishes must drip dry.
• It is illegal to buy or sell marijuana, but it is legal to smoke it on your own property.
• You may not pump your own gas in service stations.
• The "Peer Review Statute" prohibits you from finding out details of any written or oral discussion about your medical treatment. Not even a court of law can. All you can access is what the doctor or nurse voluntarily records in your chart.
• One may not bathe without wearing "suitable clothing," i.e.,that which covers one's body from neck to knee.
• Beaverton- You must buy a $10 permit to be allowed to install a burglar alarm.
• Eugene- It is legal to conduct a horse race or a symphony concert.
• It is illegal to show movies or attend a car race on Sundays.
• (Repealed in the 1970s) Hood River Juggling is strictly prohibited without a license.
• Klamath Falls- It's illegal to walk down a sidewalk and knock a snakes head off with your cane.
• Portland- People may not whistle underwater.
• It's against the law for a wedding ceremony to be performed at a skating rink.
• (Repealed in 1989) You cannot wear roller skates in restrooms.
• Marion- Ministers are forbidden from eating garlic or onions before delivering a sermon.
• Myrtle Creek- One may not box with a kangaroo.
• Salem- Women may not wrestle in Salem.
• Springfield- It is illegal to own a reptile within the city limits, unless you are a school or city, as a pet.
• Stanfield- No more than two people may share a single drink.
• Cloth towel dispensers are banned from restrooms.

Important Thoughts

• You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.
• Talc is found on rocks and on babies.
• The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.
• When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
• When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.
• Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand.
• While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.
• Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction.
• South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage.
• Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.
• Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south.
• A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
• There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever.
• There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up there these days.
• Lime is a green-tasting rock.
• Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.
• Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should.
• Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.
• Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against brother.
• Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.
• We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
• To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.
• In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H's as O's.
• Clouds are high flying fogs.
• I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.
• Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.
• Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.
• Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water.
• We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won't drown when we breathe.
• Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail.
• Rain is saved up in cloud banks.
• In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.
• Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.
• A blizzard is when it snows sideways.
• A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size.
• A monsoon is a French gentleman.
• Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
• Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.
• It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places.
• The wind is like the air, only pushier.