Condom Convention

A representative for a condom company is on her way to a convention. While rushing through the airport, she drops the briefcase carrying her samples of condoms all over the floor. As she is stuffing all the condoms back into her briefcase, she notices tourists giving her crazy looks. "It's ok, she says, "I am doing a huge convention."

Partnership

Best friends graduating from medical school at the same time decided that, in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel. Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist.

They put up a sign reading: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors.

The town council was livid and insisted they change it.

The docs changed it to read: Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.

This was also not acceptable, so they again changed the sign to read: Catatonics and High Colonics.

This was also a no-go.

Next they tried Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives.

Thumbs down again. Then came Minds and Behinds - still no good.

Another attempt resulted in Lost Souls and Butt Holes - unacceptable again!

So they tried Nuts and Butts - no way.

Freaks and Cheeks - still no good.

Loons and Moons - forget it.

Almost at their wit's end, the docs finally came up with: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones - Specializing in Odds and Ends.

 
Everybody loved it...

Irish Radio Minute Quiz Answers

On Irish radio there is a guy called Larry Gogan who has been running the "Just-a-Minute quiz" every lunchtime for years. These are actual answers from some contestants...
1. ?Q: Something a blind man might use?
A   A sword
2. Q: A Song with the word Moon in the title?
A: Blue Suede Moon
3  Q  Name the Capital of France?
A: "F"
4  Q  Name a bird with a long neck?
A: Naomi Campbell
5  Q  Name an occupation where you might need a torch?
A: A burglar
6  Q  Where is the Taj Mahal?
A: Opposite the dental hospital
7  Q  What is Hitler's first name
A: Heil
8  Q  As happy as.... (Larry gave a hint - think of my name)
A: A pig in sh*t
9  Q  Some famous brothers
A: Bonnie and Clyde.
1 . Q   A dangerous race
A: The Arabs
1 . Q   Something that floats in a bath
A: Water
1 . Q   An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers
A: A horse
1 . Q   Something you wear on a beach
A: A deck-chair
1 . Q   A famous Royal
A: Mail
1 . Q   Something that flies that doesn't have an engine
A: A bicycle with wings
1 . Q   A famous bridge
A: The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
1 . Q   Something a cat does
A: Goes to the toilet
1 . Q   Something you do in the bathroom
A: Decorate
1 . Q   A method of securing your home
A: Put the kettle on
2 . Q   Something associated with pigs
A: The Police
2 . Q   A sign of the Zodiac
A: April
2 . Q   Something people might be allergic to
A: Skiing
2 . Q   Something you do before you go to bed
A: Sleep
2 . Q   Something you put on walls
A: A roof
2 . Q  Something slippery
A: A con-man
2 . Q  A kind of ache
A: A fillet of fish
2 . Q  A Jacket Potato topping
A: Jam
2 . Q  A food that can be brown or white
A: A potato
2 . Q  A famous Scotsman
A: Jock
3 . Q  A famous Welshman
A: Vinnie Jones
3 . Q  Something you open other than a door
A: Your bowels