DiCaprio ID

A black man finds Leonardo DiCaprio's wallet on the ground. Some days later he's stopped by the police while driving erratically on the interstate. They asked him for his ID and he hands them the one he found. The officer looks at the ID and back to the man. He reads aloud, "First Name: Leonardo, last name: DiCaprio." He looks at the driver, a bit perplexed. "Hair: blonde, eyes: blue." Looks at him again. Then the cop called his partner and asked, "Hey Bob, did the Titanic sink or burn?"

Speeding

A police officer stopped a blonde for speeding and asked her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

Knock Knock - Dishes

Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the police, come out with your hands up!