Holiday Nuts

Think I may be getting a vasectomy for Christmas. Just overheard my girlfriend tell her mom she was taking me to see the nutcracker.

Non Believer

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

Common Sense Business Lines

• Common sense is not so common.
• Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough. - Descartes, 1637
• Communication with the dead is only a little more difficult than communication with (Insert Your Favorite Group - Engineering/Financial...)
• Competition brings out the best in products and the worst in people.
• Complex problems have simple, easy to understand, wrong answers.
• Confession is good for the soul, but bad for the career.
• Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
• Confusion creates jobs.
• Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels good.
• Conscious is being aware of something; conscience is wishing you weren't.