Dark Humor Jokes - Death Jokes

Moving on Up

This was a really, really big year for me. I got to go home for Thanksgiving and sit at the adults' table. That's 'cause, you know, somebody had to die for me to move up a plate.

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Jokes about Families , Holiday Jokes (Thanksgiving Jokes)
Anonymous

Turkey Shoping

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

Categories: Animal Jokes (Bird Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Food Jokes (Meat-eater Jokes) , Holiday Jokes (Thanksgiving Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Wedding Tombstones

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah," she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone reads: 'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (Men vs Women Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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