The Cremation

Minutes before the cremation, the undertaker quietly sat down next to the grieving widow. "How old was your husband?" he asked. "He was ninety-eight," she answered softly. "Two years older than I am." "Really?" the undertaker said. "Hardly worth going home, wouldn't you say?"

Oldest

Dad: "You ask too many questions. Just like your older brother used to."
Me: "But... I'm the oldest."
Dad: "You are now"

Cramming

"Why do you keep reading the Bible everyday?" the teenage girl asked her grandfather. "Well, it's a bit like cramming for your final exam," said Grandpa.