Old Local Blacksmith

An old blacksmith realized he was soon going to quit working so hard. He picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice. The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions," he told the boy. "Just do whatever I tell you to do." One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there," he said. "When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard." Now the town is looking for a new blacksmith.

Christmas Gifting

My wife asked me to get her "bath stuff" for Christmas.
I sure hope she likes her new toaster.

Jumping the Gun

I went to a crematorium to plan my wife's funeral, but apparently she has to be dead first.