Funny Thoughts

Texan's Guide To Life

  • Never squat with yer spurs on.
  • There's two theories to arguin' with a woman; neither one works.
  • Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think.
  • If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.
  • Never smack a man who's chewin' tobacco.
  • It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
  • Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.
  • Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
  • Always drink upstream from the herd.
  • If you're ridin' ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still there.
  • Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
  • Finally, never miss a good chance to shut up.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Deer Nuggets -Riddles

Q: Did you know deer nuggets are cheaper than chicken nuggets?
A: Chicken nuggets are $1.49, but deer nuggets are under a BUCK.

Anonymous

Robert Kardashian

Robert Kardashian was OJ Simpson's lawyer,
And thus began the family tradition of getting black men off.

Anonymous
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