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Sex Jokes
Bull Auction
One fine Sunday afternoon, a couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside and are watching the auctioning off of bulls. The guy selling the bulls announces the first bull to be auctioned off:
"A fine specimen, this bull reproduced 60 times last year."
The wife nudges her husband in the ribs, and comments, "See? That was more than 5 times a month!"
The second bull is to be sold: "Another fine specimen, this wonder reproduced 120 times last year."
Again the wife bugs her husband, "Hey, that's some 10 times a month.What do YOU say to that?!" Her husband is getting really annoyed with this comparison.
The third bull is up for sale: "And this extraordinary specimen reproduced 360 times last year!"
The wife slaps her husband on the arm and yells, "That's once a day, every day of the year! How about YOU?!"
The husband was pretty irritated by now, and yells back, "Sure, once a day! But ask the announcer if they were all with the same fat cow!!"
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Golf Leprechaun
One day, a man was golfing when he hit his ball into the woods. When he went to retrieve it, he found that it had hit a small man in green tights. "I'm so sorry!" the man said. "Don't worry about it. Anyway, you caught me. I'm a leprechaun and you have managed to stop me. You get three wishes." "Oh, no, I don't want the wishes. Just as long as you're okay." The leprechaun thought the man was so nice he decided to grant three wishes for him. He gave him unlimited money, terrific health, and a great sex life. The man came back to the golf course the next year and recognized that same leprechaun.
"How're you doing?" asked the leprechaun. "Oh, terrific. Every time I stick my hand in my pocket a 100 dollar bill comes out and I've eaten nothing but Snickers bars for a year and I'm at my ideal weight and can run a mile faster than anyone." "How's your sex life?" asked the leprechaun. "Fantastic! I'm up to twice a week now!" "Twice a week? Why so little? I gave you a great sex life wish!" "Hey, it's not bad for a priest!"
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Mexican Girl
Q: How did the Mexican girl get pregnant?
A: Her teacher told her to do an essay.
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