Father I Have Sinned

One day 3 men went to a shrine to ask the Father for forgiveness. The first man went to the Father and said, "Father, Father I have sinned!" Father: "What have you done?" The first man: "I have lied!" Father: "Drink the Holy water and you will be saved." And so the man drank the water and was "saved". Then the second man went up to the Father and said: "Father, Father I have sinned!" Father: "What have you done?" The second man: "I have stolen from the jeweler's!" Father: "Drink the Holy water and you will be saved." And so the man drank the holy water and was "saved". The third man went up to the Father and said: "Father, Father I have sinned!" Father: "What have you done?" The third man: " I peed in the Holy water!"

What does a Jewish American Princess make for dinner?

Q: What does a Jewish American Princess make for dinner?
A: Reservations.

Muslim in Heaven

He is about to climb up the white clouded stairs and stops in front of a golden gate. There is a bearded man waiting for him. The Muslim asks: "Are you Mohammed?" "No, I'm St. Peter. Mohammed is higher up." The Muslim is very happy to hear that Mohammed is more important than Saint Peter and is higher up. He climbs another flight of stairs. Tired, he stops in front of another large gate. He finds a young man with curly blond hairs and asks, "Are you Mohammed?" "No, I'm Michael, Mohammed is higher up." The Muslim is in ecstasy learning that Mohammed is more important than angels. He climbs an even longer flight of stairs. Exhausted, he reaches another gate, even bigger. He's met by a bearded man and asks him, "Are you Mohammed?" "No. I am Jesus. Mohammed is further up." The Muslim is ecstatic and explodes with happiness learning that Mohammed is even more important than Jesus and that his religion is indeed the best of them all. He cannot wait to meet Mohammed. He quickly climbs further up. Panting, breathless, exhausted, he arrives at a huge white gate. Waiting for him is very old man with a long white beard. The Muslim asks with the little breath he has left, "Are you Mohammed?" "No. I'm God, but I see you're tired, come in, sit down, rest for a moment. Do you want some water, a coffee perhaps? And the Muslim says, "Yes, a coffee ... I would be very grateful." So God turns around, raises his hand, whistles, and says, "Mohammed, two coffees."