Doctor's Treatment

A Muslim immigrant in Dearborn Michigan goes to a Doctor and says, "I feel terrible."
The Doctor examines him and then says, "You need to take a bucket, throw in a dead fish and a rotting cabbage, then piss and shit in it for a week. Hold your face over the bucket, put a towel over your head, and inhale the vapors for 3 days".
The man follows the Doctors's orders and returns in a week, telling the Doctor, "I feel wonderful! What was wrong with me?"
"You were homesick."

Exorcist Service

Q: Do you know what happens if you don't pay your exorcist?
A: You get repossessed!

Men In Heaven

Q: Why do so few men end up in heaven?
A: They never stop to ask for directions.