Seven Dwarfs in Rome

The seven dwarfs were in Rome and went to the nearest nunnery. They got to talk to the mother superior. "Excuse us, but can you tell us where the dwarf nuns are?" "Sorry," she replies, "but there are no dwarf nuns here." "Well, are there any in the city." "No, there are no dwarf nuns." "What, none anywhere in Europe?" "No, little man." "None in the entire world." "Take my word for it." At this 6 of the seven dwarfs burst out laughing. The Mother Superior asks "What's so funny?" "Dopey just fucked a penguin".

Jewish Dog Does Tricks

A man walks into a shul with a dog. The shammas comes up to him and says, "Pardon me, this is a House of Worship, you can't bring your dog in here." "What do you mean," says the man, "this is a Jewish dog. Look." And the shammas looks carefully and sees that in the same way that a St. Bernard carries a brandy barrel round its neck this dog has a tallis bag round its neck. "Rover," says the man, "daven!". "Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a kipa and puts it on his head. "Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a tallis and puts it round his neck. "Woof!" says the dog, stands on his hind legs, opens the tallis bag, takes out a siddur and starts to daven. "That's fantastic," says the shammas, "absolutely amazing, incredible! You should take him to Hollywood, get him on television, get him in the movies, you could make a million dollars off of him!!" "You speak to him," says the man, "He wants to be a doctor."

The Parrots

A woman had two female parrots who were always yelling, "We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?" She was talking to her Preacher one day about this. He said he had two male parrots and all they did was read the Bible. He thought perhaps they would be a good influence on the two females. So they put the four parrots together. So, the females yelled at the male parrots, "We're prostitutes, wanna have a little fun?" One male parrot said to the other, "Put the Bibles away! We've made it to heaven!"