Muslim in Heaven

He is about to climb up the white clouded stairs and stops in front of a golden gate. There is a bearded man waiting for him. The Muslim asks: "Are you Mohammed?" "No, I'm St. Peter. Mohammed is higher up." The Muslim is very happy to hear that Mohammed is more important than Saint Peter and is higher up. He climbs another flight of stairs. Tired, he stops in front of another large gate. He finds a young man with curly blond hairs and asks, "Are you Mohammed?" "No, I'm Michael, Mohammed is higher up." The Muslim is in ecstasy learning that Mohammed is more important than angels. He climbs an even longer flight of stairs. Exhausted, he reaches another gate, even bigger. He's met by a bearded man and asks him, "Are you Mohammed?" "No. I am Jesus. Mohammed is further up." The Muslim is ecstatic and explodes with happiness learning that Mohammed is even more important than Jesus and that his religion is indeed the best of them all. He cannot wait to meet Mohammed. He quickly climbs further up. Panting, breathless, exhausted, he arrives at a huge white gate. Waiting for him is very old man with a long white beard. The Muslim asks with the little breath he has left, "Are you Mohammed?" "No. I'm God, but I see you're tired, come in, sit down, rest for a moment. Do you want some water, a coffee perhaps? And the Muslim says, "Yes, a coffee ... I would be very grateful." So God turns around, raises his hand, whistles, and says, "Mohammed, two coffees."

Is There A God

Q: Is there a God?
A: A billion Hindus can't be wrong.

Why God Doesn't Have a PhD

Why God Doesn't Have a PhD:
1. He has only one major publication.
2. It was in Hebrew.
3. It had no references.
4. It wasn't published in a referred journal.
5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been very limited.
8. The scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects.
10. When one experiment went awry he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his test.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.
17. He's been known to associate with prostitutes.