Jokes about Families

Breaking the News

A guy is just getting back from a long business trip out of the country. He’d left his cat with his brother. As soon as he’s back at the airport, he calls his brother and asks about the cat. “The cat’s dead,” the brother says. The guy is devastated. “Hey, that cat meant a lot to me. Don’t you know any better than to break bad news like that? Jeez. You ought to say, ‘Well, the cat got out on the roof, and the fire department came. They put up the ladder, but the cat was afraid to let go. It was cold outside, and finally when they were able to get up there the cat had passed away from exposure.’ You know, break it gently.” “Man, I’m sorry,” the brother says. “I’ll do a better job next time.” “Okay. Anyway, what’s really important is family. How have you been all this time? How’s Mom?” “Well,” the brother says. “Mom got out on the roof..."

Categories: Animal Jokes (Cat Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Brother Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes)
Submitted BY: JackD

Crow Vision

My mom has crows feet in the corner of her eyes.
They really don't suit her. I told her she was too old for a facial tattoo.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Old Age Jokes , Jokes about Families (Mother Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
Copyright © 2015 - Kiel Phillips - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Written By: KielPhillips

Results of a Helping Hand

A man and his son walk in the park and come upon two dogs humping. The son asks, "Dad what are those dogs doing?" The dad says, "Well, the dog on top must have hurt his two front paws, and that dog on the bottom is helping him home." The son turns to his father and says, "It figures -- every time you try to help someone out, you always get screwed."

Categories: Animal Jokes (Dog Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Son Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
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