Jokes about Families

Results of a Helping Hand

A man and his son walk in the park and come upon two dogs humping. The son asks, "Dad what are those dogs doing?" The dad says, "Well, the dog on top must have hurt his two front paws, and that dog on the bottom is helping him home." The son turns to his father and says, "It figures -- every time you try to help someone out, you always get screwed."

Anonymous

Girlfriend Meets Irish Mom

A young Irish lad takes the girl he loves to meet his family. The matriarch of the family asks the girlfriend, "So, tell me, lass, what is your occupation?" The girl hesitantly says, "Well, Mrs. O'Malley, I'm a prostitute." Immediately, the lad's mother faints. After regaining consciousness, she asks again, "Forgive me, dearie. I don't think I heard you correctly. What is your occupation?" Again the girl says, "Mrs. O'Malley, I'm a prostitute." The mother laughs, "Oh my, dearie, for a moment there I thought you said you were a Protestant!"

Anonymous

Eat Your Corn Flakes

Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?
Shut up and eat your corn flakes.

Anonymous
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