Proud Father

When his wife gave birth to a healthy baby, a proud father went in to work and told everybody that he has a 10 lb healthy son. After hearing what was going on, the wife tells the father to quit telling everybody that the baby is 10 lb because he's only 8.6 lb.Next day at work, the father comes in and tells everyone that the baby is only 8 lb. "What do you mean, he was 10 yesterday?" "Umm, well that was before he got circumcised".

Aged Mother

With the help of a fertility specialist, a 65 year old woman has a baby. All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family.
When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says, "Not yet." A little later they ask to see the baby again. Again the mother says, "Not yet."
Finally they say, "When can we see the baby!?"
And the mother says, "You'll have to wait until the baby cries." And they ask, "Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?"
The new mother says, "Because I forgot where I put it!"