Eat Your Corn Flakes

Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?
Shut up and eat your corn flakes.

Making Cupcakes

One day a boy and his mother were watching Cinemax Late Nite, when they saw some people having sex. "What are they doing, Mommy?" "They're making cupcakes." "Were you and Daddy making cupcakes on this couch last night?" "Yes. How did you know?" "Cuz I licked the frosting off this morning."

Give Me An Ear!

This man is waiting for his wife to deliver his first child. When the doctor comes out of the operating room, he comes up to him and asks to see his wife and baby.
Doctor: I have something to tell you... Your baby has got no legs...
Father: Oh... I guess it's still my son. Let me see it.
Doctor: He's got no arms either...
Father: That bad, uh? I have to see it!
Doctor: And he's got no trunk either... No head... Actually, it's only an ear...
Father: ... He's still my son, take me to him now.  Then they go in a sterile room where a nurse carries in a cradle with a huge ear in it.
Father: My son!!! Flesh of my flesh!!! Blood of my blood!!!
Doctor: Louder...he's deaf too!!!