Pumpkin Carving

Getting in the mood for Halloween. I've just carved up a pumpkin.
That kid regretted his costume choice.

Dam Turkey

A preacher's wife goes to the butcher.
The butcher asks if she'd like to try some Dam Turkey. The preacher's wife is shocked. The butcher explains that "Dam Turkey" is the brand name of the bird and shows her the packaging with the beaver and dam logo.
That night, the preacher asks, "What's for dinner?" His wife says she bought some Dam Turkey from the butcher. The preacher scolds his wife for using such language in their home. She explains the "Dam Turkey brand name and their logo.
At the dinner table, the preacher asks his 16-year-old son to pass him the "Dam Turkey." The son replies, "That's the spirit Dad, now will you please pass me the 'f**kin' mashed potatos?"

Fashion Luck

I know I don't keep up with current fashion, but I didn't think my clothes were that outdated until I went to a Halloween party to pick up my wife and won first prize in the fancy dress contest for my Victorian gentleman costume.