Hey Lady...

A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, she was incredibly ticked now. The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager said, "That's not good." and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" and the bird said, "You know."

A Black Guy In A Bar

A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender looks up and says "where the hell did you get that thing? The Parrot replies "Over in Africa, there's millions of them !! "

Cock A Doodly Doo!

This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster which he would sell. The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've this great rooster, named Randy. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem." Well, Randy the rooster costs a lot of money, but, farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Randy and takes the rooster home. He then sets him down in the barnyard and gives the rooster a pep talk, "Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. "So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer ended with a chuckle.
Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house, and Randy took off like a shot. WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the hen house three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, sure enough, Randy is in there. Later, the farmer sees Randy after the flock of geese down by the lake. Once again, WHAM! He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Randy out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught -- worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Randy dead as a doorknob -- stone cold in the middle of the yard and buzzards are circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself." Randy opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and says, "SHHHH, they're getting closer..."