Holiday Jokes - Thanksgiving Jokes

Top 10 Thanksgiving Comments

10. Reach in and grab the giblets.
9. Whew..... that's one terrific spread!
8. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist.
6. Talk about a huge breast!
5. "And he forces his way into the end zone."
4. She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 minutes to hold her down.
3. It's cool whip time!
2. If I don't unbuckle my pants, I'm going to burst.
1. It must be broken 'cause when I push on the top, nothing squirts out.

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Anonymous

Turkey Shoping

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

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Anonymous

Dam Turkey

A preacher's wife goes to the butcher.
The butcher asks if she'd like to try some Dam Turkey. The preacher's wife is shocked. The butcher explains that "Dam Turkey" is the brand name of the bird and shows her the packaging with the beaver and dam logo.
That night, the preacher asks, "What's for dinner?" His wife says she bought some Dam Turkey from the butcher. The preacher scolds his wife for using such language in their home. She explains the "Dam Turkey brand name and their logo.
At the dinner table, the preacher asks his 16-year-old son to pass him the "Dam Turkey." The son replies, "That's the spirit Dad, now will you please pass me the 'f**kin' mashed potatos?"

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Anonymous
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