Christmas Trees Better

Reasons Why a Christmas Tree Is Better Than a Woman:

1. A Christmas tree doesn't care how many other Christmas trees you have had in the past.
2. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you have an artificial one in the closet.
3. When you are done with a Christmas tree you can throw it on the curb and have it hauled away.
4. A Christmas tree doesn't get jealous around other Christmas trees.
5. A Christmas tree doesn't care if you watch football all day.
6. A Christmas tree doesn't get mad if you tie it up and throw it in the back of your pickup truck.

Christmas Party

A few years ago, we invited some friends over for a Christmas party. Many of my colleagues were there, and many of them are German. Helmut, Franz, and Rudolf were there. I was talking to Rudolf about his belief in the superiority of the communist party. I grew tired of the discussion so I motioned towards the window and commented on the weather, "I believe it's snowing". "No, it looks too wet to be snow," he said. The argument went back and forth for a few minutes: rain, snow, rain, snow...Then my wife came over and settled the argument for us. She said: "Rudolf the Red knows rain, dear!"

Witch Jokes

Q: What's yellow and very poisonous?
A: Witch infested custard!
 
Q: Why did the witch buy two tickets to the zoo?
A: One to get in and one to get out!
 
Q: What do you call a witch made of cotton and has lots of holes in her?
A: A string hag!
 
Q: What happened to the naughty little witch at school?
A: She was ex-spelled!
 
Q: What should you do if you find a witch in your bed?
A: Run!
 
Q: Where do witches keep their purses?
A: In hag bags!
 
Q: What is the favorite subject of young witches at school?
A: Spelling!