Appearance Jokes

Weight Loss Goal

I had a goal to lose 20 Pounds by the end of the year.
30 pounds to go.

Categories: Appearance Jokes (Fat Jokes)
Anonymous

Success!

A new report shows there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people.
So overweight people are now average, which means you have met your New Year's resolution.
Happy New Year!

Categories: Funny Thoughts , One-Liner Jokes , Appearance Jokes (Fat Jokes)
Anonymous

Duck Heaven

Once upon a time there was three sisters that went to duck heaven. St. Patrick welcomed them and said, "We are happy to have you here in Duck Heaven, but I warn you if you step on a duck in Duck Heaven you will be chained to the ugliest man on Earth!" So, the three girls were really careful where they stepped. After a week the first girl stepped on a duck... so, she was chained to the ugliest man on Earth! After a month the second sister stepped on a duck... so, she was chained to the second ugliest man on the Earth! After a year in Duck Heaven the third sister never ever stepped on a duck so St. Patrick said, "You have been very good here in Duck Heaven so we have a treat for you!" So, she was chained to the most handsome and perfect man on the Earth! "What did I do to deserve you?" she asked the man. "Well I don't know about you lady," replied the man. "But I stepped on a duck!!!"

Categories: Animal Jokes (Duck Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Sister Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes) , Appearance Jokes (Ugly Jokes)
Anonymous
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