Holiday Jokes

HUGE Collection of Holiday Jokes! ROFL with April Fool's Day, Halloween, St. Patrick's Day, Christmas, Easter, more. Crack yourself up with funny holiday jokes.

Halloween Phrases

I'd like to get a little something in the sack.
Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.
She's got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch.
If you just lick it, it'll last longer.
Have someone check the goodies before they go into your mouth.

Anonymous

Young Witch

Q: Why did the young witch have such difficulty writing letters?
A: She had never learned to spell properly!

Anonymous

Hollandaise

A man went to his dentist because he feels something wrong in his mouth. The dentist examines him and says, "That new upper plate I put in for you six months ago is eroding. What have you been eating?" The man replies, "allI can think of is that about four months ago my wife made some asparagus and put some stuff on it that was delicious... Hollandaise sauce. I loved it so much I now put it on everything --- meat, toast, fish, vegetables, everything." "Well," says the dentist, "that's probably the problem. Hollandaise sauce is made with lots of lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. It's eaten away your upper plate. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome." "Why chrome?" asks the patient. To which the dentist replies, "It's simple. Everyone knows that there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
Trackuser=No (Robot detected) |IsRobot=Yes |

Page rendered in 0.2253 seconds