Polish Robber

A Polish guy walks into a store and says, "Open the register!". The store keep says, "We're closed." The Polish guy says, "I'll be back tomorrow"!

Oh Boy...More Warning Signs!

On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place"(why...a duh!)
On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water.(ah-ha! So that's what happened to my little sister!)
On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test.(oh sure...now they tell me!)
On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device.(aye matey...but the sharks love 'em!)
On a disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake.
On a handgun: Not recommended for use as a nutcracker.
On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony.(well that's just great...now what do I use!)
On a Pentium chip: If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2- shipping and a $3-handling charge, for a total of $4.97.(now you know WHY there was a Y2K bug!)
On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms.
On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium.(he-he...I gotta try this one!)
On syrup of ipecac: Caution: May cause vomiting.
On a revolving door: Passenger compartments for individual use only.
On children's alphabet blocks: Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.(hmmm...I think I'll test this one out on my nephews :)

Laundry Time

Tom: What's up?
Becky: Doing laundry
Tom: Having any fun?
Becky: Loads!