Funny Thoughts

Die Peacefully

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Jokes about Families (Grandfather Jokes) , Funny Thoughts
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

DNR

A husband and wife were sitting at home when the husband suddenly said, "Honey, just so you know, I never want to be kept alive in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."
So the wife got up, pulled the plug on the T.V. and threw out all of his beer.

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Word Play Jokes , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Alcohol Jokes (Beer Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Woman Criticizes Man)
Submitted BY: kaiofthelexx1

Hostage Situation

During a bank robbery, the thief's mask slipped off. He fixed it and asked a hostage, "Did you see my face?" The hostage had, so the thief killed him. He asked the next hostage, same result. After he asked a third hostage, the guy responded, "No, but my wife did."

Categories: Funny Thoughts , Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Man Criticizes Woman) , Relationship Jokes (Marriage Jokes) , Word Play Jokes
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
Trackuser=No (Robot detected) |IsRobot=Yes |

Page rendered in 0.3815 seconds