Irish Radio Minute Quiz Answers

On Irish radio there is a guy called Larry Gogan who has been running the "Just-a-Minute quiz" every lunchtime for years. These are actual answers from some contestants...
1. ?Q: Something a blind man might use?
A   A sword
2. Q: A Song with the word Moon in the title?
A: Blue Suede Moon
3  Q  Name the Capital of France?
A: "F"
4  Q  Name a bird with a long neck?
A: Naomi Campbell
5  Q  Name an occupation where you might need a torch?
A: A burglar
6  Q  Where is the Taj Mahal?
A: Opposite the dental hospital
7  Q  What is Hitler's first name
A: Heil
8  Q  As happy as.... (Larry gave a hint - think of my name)
A: A pig in sh*t
9  Q  Some famous brothers
A: Bonnie and Clyde.
1 . Q   A dangerous race
A: The Arabs
1 . Q   Something that floats in a bath
A: Water
1 . Q   An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers
A: A horse
1 . Q   Something you wear on a beach
A: A deck-chair
1 . Q   A famous Royal
A: Mail
1 . Q   Something that flies that doesn't have an engine
A: A bicycle with wings
1 . Q   A famous bridge
A: The Bridge Over Troubled Waters
1 . Q   Something a cat does
A: Goes to the toilet
1 . Q   Something you do in the bathroom
A: Decorate
1 . Q   A method of securing your home
A: Put the kettle on
2 . Q   Something associated with pigs
A: The Police
2 . Q   A sign of the Zodiac
A: April
2 . Q   Something people might be allergic to
A: Skiing
2 . Q   Something you do before you go to bed
A: Sleep
2 . Q   Something you put on walls
A: A roof
2 . Q  Something slippery
A: A con-man
2 . Q  A kind of ache
A: A fillet of fish
2 . Q  A Jacket Potato topping
A: Jam
2 . Q  A food that can be brown or white
A: A potato
2 . Q  A famous Scotsman
A: Jock
3 . Q  A famous Welshman
A: Vinnie Jones
3 . Q  Something you open other than a door
A: Your bowels
 

Park Registration Sheet Comments

Actual comments received in 1996 from the Bridger Wilderness registration sheets and comment cards:

• Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.
• Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce world-wide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness.
• Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.
• All the mile markers are missing this year.
• Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.
• Trail needs to be reconstructed.
• Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
• Too many bugs and leaches and spiders and spider webs.Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.
• Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow during the winter.
• Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
• The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.
• A small deer came into my camp and stole my jar of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call __ __ __.
• Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights.
• Escalators would help on steep uphill sections.
• Need more signs to keep area pristine.
• A McDonalds would be nice at the trail head.
• The places where trails do not exist are not well marked.
• I brought lots of sandwich makings, but forgot bread. If you have extra bread, leave it in the yellow tent at V Lake.
• Too many rocks in the mountains.

Jumping the Gun

I went to a crematorium to plan my wife's funeral, but apparently she has to be dead first.