Snowbound

Two men , Rick and Dave, go on a skiing trip and get caught in a blizzard. They pull into a farm and ask the lady of the house, a good-looking widow , if they can sleep on her couch. She agrees and they turn in for the night. Next morning they go on their way and enjoy a weekend of skiing. A few months later, Rick gets a letter from the widow’s lawyer . He says to Dave, “You remember that good-looking widow we met on our skiing vacation?” “Yes,” says Dave. “In the middle of the night, did you go up to her room and have sex with her?” asks Rick. “Yes,” admits Dave, a little embarrassed. “I see,” says Rick. “And when you had sex did you happen to use my name instead of yours?” Dave’s face turns red. “Yeah, sorry,” he says. “I’m afraid I did.” “Well,” says Rick. “You must have been damn good. She’s just died and left everything to me.”

What were they Thinking?

There's a man walking a tight rope 60 feet above ground. There's another man getting a blowjob from a 60 year old woman.
Q: What are they both thinking at the exact same time?
A: Don't look down, don't look down, don't look down, don't look down!

Shady Dog

Q: Why did the dog sit in the shade?
A: Because he didn't want to be a hot dog!