Condom Company

A man boards a plane with six kids. After they get settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle leans over to him and asks, "Are all of those kids yours?" He replies, "No. I work for a condom company. These are customer complaints."

Ode To The Government

I've fucked in the sun, I've fucked in the rain. I've fucked before, and I'll fuck again. But I'll never be happy, I'll never be free, 'til I've fucked the Government like the Government's fucked me!

Shady Dog

Q: Why did the dog sit in the shade?
A: Because he didn't want to be a hot dog!