Indian's Way of the Woods

There was an Indian chief who wanted to show his son the way of the woods. He gets on the ground and hears a noise.
"Buffalo come." "How do you know?" "Ground shaky." The boy wanted to try. He gets on the ground, listens. "Man come." "Is there a vibration?" "No." "Then how do you know?" "Ground sticky."

Asian Request

I asked my Chinese girlfriend for a 69 last night.
She said 'Fuck off, I'm not cooking at this time of night'

He Didn't Make It

A 10pm curfew was imposed in Belfast. Everybody had to be off the streets or risk being shot. However one citizen was shot at 9.45pm. "Why did you do that?" the soldier was asked by his superior officer. "I know where he lives," he replied, "and he wouldn't have made it."