Bus Driver

I went out drinking on St. Patrick's Day, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I've never driven a bus before. 

The Dot

For centuries, Hindu women have worn a dot on their foreheads.  Most of us have naively thought this was connected with tradition or religion, but the Indian embassy in Ottawa has recently revealed the true story.
When a Hindu woman gets married, she brings a dowry into the union.  On her wedding night, the husband scratches off the dot to see whether he has won; a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, a taxi cab or a motel in the United States.
If nothing there, he must remain in India to answer telephones and provide technical support for computer companies.