American, Mule and Hot Dog

There was this American tourist in Mexico, and he was getting tired of walking around, so he went up to a donkey rental place and said, ''Can I rent a donkey?' The guy said, "We don't call them donkeys here, we call them asses. This is the only ass I have left, and you have to scratch him when you want to make him stop." The guy rides his ass for a while, sees a hotdog stand, and asks for a hotdog. The vendor replies, "We don't call them hotdogs here we call the wieners." Meanwhile his donkey is wandering away, so he goes up to another tourist and says "Will you hold my wiener while I scratch my ass?"

Indian's Way of the Woods

There was an Indian chief who wanted to show his son the way of the woods. He gets on the ground and hears a noise.
"Buffalo come." "How do you know?" "Ground shaky." The boy wanted to try. He gets on the ground, listens. "Man come." "Is there a vibration?" "No." "Then how do you know?" "Ground sticky."

Asian Request

I asked my Chinese girlfriend for a 69 last night.
She said 'Fuck off, I'm not cooking at this time of night'