Newfies Changing A Tire

Q: How many Newfies does it take to change a flat tire?
A: Five. One to seal the inner tube and four to club the seal.

Must Wear a Black Condom

A man walks into a whorehouse looking for a little action and he goes up to the house owner and asks, "Hey, can I get a piece from one of your fine ladies you've got here?" "Sorry sir," the owner responds, "but, we're all full." "Aw, please I really need some poon tang!" And the owner answers, "Well, there is one girl left but when you go meet her you have to wear this black condom." "Whatever," the man answers quickly and races upstairs. A few hours later the man comes down and says ''WOW! Wow, that was great. She didn't even make any noise. But why did I have to wear the black condom?" And the owner answers, "Respect for the dead."

Animal Infidelity

Q: What happened when Snoopy found out his girl cheated on him?
A: He bitch-slapped her.