Bar Jokes

Safest Way to Drive

Peter Ludwig, a caver from Austria who is appalled by American driving habits, offers the following advice: The probability of being involved in a traffic accident is directly proportional to time spent on the road. Driving fast decreases one's exposure. One third of traffic accidents are caused by drunk drivers; two thirds are caused by non-drunk drivers. Therefore, the safest way to drive is drunk and VERY fast.

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

CPR

Last night I was at the bar when the waitress screamed...
"Anyone know CPR?"
I said, "Hell, I know the entire alphabet!"
Everyone laughed.
Well, except one guy.

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes , Bar Jokes
Anonymous

Ladies Night Out

Three women went out drinking and decided to have a contest to see who could get the drunkest. The next day the women all got together.
The first woman said, "I drove my car into a ditch."
The second woman said, "I blew chunks."
The third woman said, "I burned down my house."
After they all had told their stories, the third woman said, "I guess I won!" The second woman said, "Wait a minute, you don't understand, Chunks is my dog."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous
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