Women vs. Dogs

Q: What's the difference between a dog barking on the front porch and a woman hollering on the back porch?
A: If you let them both inside, the dog will stop barking.

7 Quickies!

1) On July 8, 1947, witnesses claim a spaceship with five aliens aboard crashed on a sheep-and-cattle ranch outside Roswell, NM, an incident they say has been covered up by the military. On March 31, 1948, exactly nine months after that day, Al Gore was born. That clears up a lot of things.
2) What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?
3) I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me -- they were cramming for their finals!
4) If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?
5) If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
6) I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks, so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Toothpicks?
7) Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Blonde - Crash

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head where driving down the road, when a cop starts to chase them. They rush off and crash into the side of a barn, they immediately jump out of the car and hide under potato sacks. The cop runs in after them, and the first potato sack he comes to the brunette is under. He kicks it and the brunette says, "MEEEEOOOOOOW", and the cop says, "Oh! It's just a stupid cat." He then moves to the potato sack the red-head is under and kicks it. The red-head replies, "ROOF, ROOF", the cop, angry now, says, "STUPID DOG!!" Then the cop gets to the potato sack the blonde is under, he kicks it with great force and the blonde screams, "POOOOOOTAAAAAAATOOOOOOO!"