The Morning After

Bob woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?" "Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face." "He's an idiot," Bob said. "Piss on him!" "You did," "And he fired you." "Well, screw him!" said Bob. "I did. You're back at work on Monday."

Asian Bar

A 14 year old Chinese boy walks into a bar. He goes up to the the bar and signals the bartender, "I'll have a pint please." The bartender looks him up and down, laughs and says, "You're way too young!"
The boy replied, "How you know my name?"

Yapucha Dance

A man was sitting at a bar in London, and ordered a drink. "So, who are you?", asked the bartender. "I'm a danceologist. I've studied every dance in the entirety of Europe". "Even the Wingo Wango?" "Mhm", he replied. "Even the Yapucha dance?", he asked.
"Wait, I've never heard of that one! Can you tell me about it?" The bartender shook his head. "I can't, but my cousin lives in Switzerland. Here's his address. The bartender handed him a business card. The danceologist thanked him, and booked a flight there. When he arrived at the airport, the cousin greeted the danceologist, and took him home.
"Every year on the 12th of May they do the dance. You see that mountain up there? They live on top. They'll be doing it in 2 weeks. The danceologist looked at the mountain in awe. Two weeks later, there was a heavy storm. Jagged rocks and the icy winds battered him. He didn't bring any oxygen, and so he felt too out of breath, and took a rest. Later, he carried on for one last push, and reached the top, where he met the tribe.
"Aha! Is this where the Yapucha dance is?", exclaimed the danceologist."Yes, you're just in time," laughed the chief. "Are we all ready?"
The other tribesmen got into a circle and nodded. The danceologist watched intently.
"Yapucha left foot in..."