Horse at the Bar

This horse walks in to a bar and asks for a bit to eat!

Christmas Bet

Joe and Tom went to a bar after a company Christmas party. After several hours of drinking, Joe said he'd give Tom $20 if he'd take one sip out of a large spittoon at the end of the bar.
Tom: "No way, man. That's disgusting!" Joe: "What if I offered you $50, then would you do it? Just one sip??" Tom: "Uh. No. Even for $50, that's just too gross!" Joe: "Well…what if I offered you $100? C'mon…it's just one sip!" Tom: "Well…I guess it won't kill me and I really can't turn down that offer. I could use the extra cash for Christmas."
So…Tom picks up the spittoon to take a sip and keeps on drinking from it…glug…glug…glug…
At this point, Joe is repulsed and says to Tom: "Alright, already! STOP! You're grossing me out. You only had to take ONE sip!!"
Tom promptly empties the spittoon, puts it back on the bar, wipes off his mouth and sits down next to Joe.
Joe: "Why did you do that??? That's was SO disgusting!! The bet was for you to take ONE sip and you drank the whole damn thing, I think I'm gong to puke!"…to which Tom replied: "I couldn't stop. It was all one piece."

The Morning After

Bob woke up after the annual office Christmas party with a pounding headache, cotton-mouthed and utterly unable to recall the events of the preceding evening. After a trip to the bathroom, he made his way downstairs, where his wife put some coffee in front of him. "Louise," he moaned, "tell me what happened last night. Was it as bad as I think?" "Even worse," she said, her voice oozing scorn. "You made a complete ass of yourself. You succeeded in antagonizing the entire board of directors and you insulted the president of the company, right to his face." "He's an idiot," Bob said. "Piss on him!" "You did," "And he fired you." "Well, screw him!" said Bob. "I did. You're back at work on Monday."