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Profession Jokes
Lord, Forgive Me
A rabbi, a minister, and a priest were playing poker when the police raided the game. Turning to the priest, the lead police officer said, "Father Murphy, were you gambling?"
Turning his eyes to heaven, the priest whispered, "Lord, forgive me for what I am about to do." To the police officer, he then said, "No, officer; I was not gambling."
The officer then asked the minister, "Pastor Johnson, were you gambling?"
Again, after an appeal to heaven, the minister replied, "No, officer; I was not gambling."
Turning to the rabbi, the officer again asked, "Rabbi Goldstein, were you gambling?" Shrugging his shoulders, the rabbi replied, "With whom?"
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Food For Thought
Patient: Doctor, you've gotta help me. I eat apples, apples later come out into the toilet. I eat bananas, bananas come out."
Doctor: That's easy. Eat shit!
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Woman Visits the Gynecologist
A distraught woman goes to her gynecologist. When the doctor asks her what is wrong, she says, "Remember the hormones you gave me? Well, look what happened!" She unbuttons her blouse and reveals her chest, completely covered with hair. The doctor is aghast. He says, "I've never seen anything like this. How far down does it go?" She says, "All the way down to my penis! And that's the other thing we have to talk about!"
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