Rex the Dog

A cowboy, his horse and dog are captured by hostile Indians. The dog's fate is somewhat tenuous but it's certain that the cowboy will be executed at sunrise. That evening the Indian chief tells the cowboy that he can have one last wish before meeting his ultimate fate in the morning. The cowboy asks to see his faithful dog, Rex. The cowboy strokes and pets his companion and whispers something into his ear. At once the dog bounds and runs through the Indian village and over the hill. At about 8 o'clock that evening the dog returns accompanied by some two dozen hookers from the closest town. The braves were delighted and as the orgy wore on through the night, the chief told the cowboy that his execution was being postponed as they were all too tired from partying. The next day, the chief said to the cowboy, "in gratitude for furnishing the ladies last night, I'm going to grant you another request before you're executed." Again the cowboy requests to see his faithful dog. The cowboy again strokes and pets his companion and whispers into his ear, "this may be my last chance Rex, so please get it right this time --- go to town and get the posse!"

Bedside Manner

A man is lying in bed in a hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young nurse appears to sponge his face and hands.
"Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your face and hands." He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?" Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands." The ward nurse passes by and sees the man getting a little distraught so she marches over to inquire what is wrong. "Nurse," he mumbles, "Are my testicles black?" Being a nurse she is undaunted. She whips back the bedclothes, pulls down his pajama trousers, moves his penis out of the way, has a good look, pulls up the pajamas, replaces the bedclothes and announces, "Nothing is wrong with them." At this the man pulls off his oxygen mask and asks again, "Are my test results back?"

Robins

Q: What is the definition of a Robin?
A: A bird who steals!