Dictionary Spelling

How do you spell elephant? E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t" That's not how the dictionary spells it" "You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelled it!"

Pain

A six year old comes crying to his Mother because his little sister pulled his hair. "Don't be angry," the Mother says, "Your little sister doesn't realize that pulling hair hurts." A short while later, there's more crying, and the Mother goes to investigate. This time the sister is bawling and her brother says... "Now she knows."

Discussing Grades

A high-school student came home from school seeming rather depressed. "What's the matter, son," asked his mother. "Aw, gee," said the boy, "It's my marks. They're all wet." "What do you mean `all wet?" "I mean," he replied, "below C-level."