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The best jokes and joke writers!

HIV

I'll say one thing for HIV patients, they're always positive.

Top 10 Colonoscopy Jokes

  1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!'
  2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'
  3. 'You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.'
  4. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'
  5. 'You put your left hand in; you take your left hand out...'
  6. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'
  7. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'
  8. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.
  9. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'
  10. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?'

Premium Poop

I had to pay $150 for the bowel prep medication before my colonoscopy.

That shit was expensive.

Bubble Baths

Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?

A: He eats beans for dinner.

Progress Report

Got my first report about my progress at the Impotence Club.

It said "Must try harder"