MJ Nose

Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A: From a catalog.

Murphy's Laws

• Never slap a man who chews tobacco.
• There are many many more asses in the world than donkeys.
• Wooden legs are not hereditary, wooden heads are.
• Free cheese is always in a mouse trap.
• An ugly carpet will last forever.

Government Recipe

According to the Knight-Ridder News Service, the inscription on the metal bands used by the U.S. Department of the Interior to tag migratory birds has been changed. The bands used to bear the address of the Washington Biological Survey, abbreviated, "Wash. Biol. Surv." until the agency received the following letter from an Arkansas camper: "Dear Sirs: While camping last week I shot one of your birds. I think it was a crow. I followed the cooking instructions on the leg tag and I want to tell you it was horrible."