Sex Jokes

JokerZ offers a HUGE collection of funny dirty jokes. Check out our professionally curated categories for hilarious adult jokes and sex jokes. Set your filter on Risque and Uncensored to browse dirty knock-knock jokes, inappropriate jokes and one liners from professional joke writers. Over 3000 of the best dirty jokes will have you ROFL. Share jokes anonymously with friends or post on social sites.

I Like Your Thinking

One day in class, the teacher brought a bag full of fruit and said, "Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit and you tell me which fruit I'm talking about. Alright, the first one is round, plump, and red. Little Johnny raised his hand high but the teacher ignored him and picked Deborah who promptly answered, "Apple." The teacher replied, "No Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking. Now the second one is soft, fuzzy and colored red and brown." Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him but she calls on Billy. "Is it a peach?" Billy asks. "No, it's a potato, but I like your thinking," the teacher replies. "Okay the next one is long, yellow, and fairly hard." Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically but the teacher calls on Sally who say, "A banana." The teacher responds, "No, it's a squash, but I like your thinking." Johnny is irritated now so he speaks up loudly, "Hey, I've got one for you teacher. Let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I've got it. It's round, hard, and it's got a head on it." "Johnny!" she cries, "That's disgusting!" "Nope," answers Johnny, "It's a quarter, but I like your thinking!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Problem Or Challenge

Q: A teacher asks, "What's the difference between a problem and a challenge?"
A: A student repsonds, "3 boys + 1 girl = problem. 1 boy + 3 girls = challenge."

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: omidmodern

Be Strong

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns, and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. He ties the girl to the bed and he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, and then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
His wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too!"

Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Submitted BY: peeh
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