Sex Jokes

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Threats Used in Dysfunctional Families

"Finish your lima beans or you're not getting any heroin for dessert!"
"If you don't stop that this instant, I'll have Grandma perform another striptease for you."
"If this plexiglass wasn't between us, I'd wash your mouth out with soap, young man."
"Do you want me to put a tofu burrito in your pants? Well? Do You?!"
"Billy Bob, you finish them chores or Sis ain't goin' to the prom with ya!"
"Eat your brussel sprouts, or Mommy won't love you anymore."
"Lyle, Erik -- either behave, or go to your suites!"
"If you don't eat your peas, Chelsea, I'll make you stay at the Gingrich's house!"
"Don't make me put you back in the womb!"
"As long as you live under this roof, you're *going* to wear that dress, young man!"
"You just wait til your father gets paroled!"
"Stop crying, Lourdes, or Uncle Dennis will kick you in the groin."
"Young lady, don't make me send you to the Citadel!"
and the Number 1 Threat Used in Dysfunctional Families... "All right, Little Mister, no more time in the sheep pen for you!"

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Pedophile Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Bestiality Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (Men vs Women Jokes) , Animal Jokes (Sheep Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Mountain Men and Loose Women

Two old friends from the mountains ran into each other at the local bar. One said, "Heard ya went to the big city Jeb." His friend replied, "Yep. Even tried me out one of those 'loose women' ya always hear about." "You don't say."  said the first man. "Bet that was costly." "Nope." Jeb smirked. "Kinfolk." 

Categories: Sex Jokes (One Night Stand Jokes) , Sexist Jokes (About Men) , Redneck Jokes (Hillbilly Jokes) , Dark Humor Jokes (Incest Jokes)
Copyright © 2013 - All Rights Reserved - Used with Permission.
Anonymous

Indulging in Habits

Three guys are in a doctor's office. One is a drunk, another's a smoker and the third's a gay guy. The doctor tells each of them that, if they indulge in their bad habit one more time, they will die. Outside they pass a bar. The drunk says, "I don't care if I die, I need a drink." The drunk goes into the bar takes a drink and, sure enough, he drops dead. Meanwhile the smoker and the gay guy are walking along. Then the smoker spots a lit cigarette on the sidewalk. The gay guy looks over and says, "If you bend down to pick that up, we're both dead."

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Sex Jokes (Gay Jokes)
Anonymous
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