Religion Jokes - Heaven Jokes

Three Men to Pearly Gates

Three guys were at the Pearly Gates when Peter answered. He said there was one space open for someone. He asked them how they died. "I came home one day and saw my wife in bed, naked. I looked all over the house and decided to check the balcony. I saw some fingers so I took a hammer and hit his fingers but a bush broke his fall so I took my fridge and threw it on him. But I felt so bad for killing a man that I killed myself." "I was painting on the 37th floor, when I slipped and fell. I was holding on to a balcony, when some guy hit me on the fingers with a hammer so I fell, and then dropped a fridge on me." "I was hiding innnocently in the fridge."

Categories: Dark Humor Jokes (Death Jokes) , Relationship Jokes (Cheater Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes)
Anonymous

Don't Step on a Duck!

It seems three Irishmen, Sean, Michael and Tim, passed over at the same time. Upon encountering the Pearly Gates, they were met by St. Patrick himself and he said to the boys, "Lads, I'm here to welcome you to heaven where you will spend eternity. Just remember one thing, when you go through these gates, don't step on any of the ducks or you'll be punished for eternity."
Sean went in first and was amazed to see that the entire landscape was encompassed by ducks and try as he might, sure enough he stepped on one. He was immediately joined by one of the homeliest colleens he'd ever laid eyes on. She said, "Well love, you stepped on a duck and now we're together for all time." 
Of course the exact same thing happened to Michael, only his companion was even the worse for the wear.  By this time, Tim was absolutely terrified.  He gingerly managed to make it most of the way across the court without stepping on a single duck. Suddenly, his arm was taken by a young lass. Tim looked over and beheld the most beautiful, graceful, blue-eyed woman he's ever seen in all his life. He gasped, "I don't understand it!" The young beauty answered, "Well I'm sure I don't either, I was walking along minding my own business, when all of a sudden I stepped on a duck."

Categories: Ethnic / Country Jokes (Irish Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes)
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Anonymous

Boy Finds Dead Bird

A four-year-old boy and his father went to the beach. There was a dead seagull lying on the sand. The boy asked his father, ''Dad, what happened to the birdie?'' His dad told him, ''Son, the bird died and went to heaven.'' Then the boy asked, ''Did God throw him back down?''

Categories: Jokes about Families (Son Jokes) , Religion Jokes (Heaven Jokes) , Religion Jokes (God Jokes) , Animal Jokes (Bird Jokes)
Anonymous
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