Rear Access

I was fucking my secretary up the arse when my wife walked in.
She said, "You can't do this to me!"
I said, "I know... that's why I'm doing it to her.

Marriage and Tornado

Q: What do marriage and a tornado have in common?
A: Well you start off with a lot of blowing and then sucking, and then next thing you know your house is gone!

Couple's Separate Beds

A husband and wife sleep in separate twin beds. One night he asks his wife to come over to his bed to fool around. As the wife gets up to walk over to his bed, she trips over the carpet and falls flat on her face. The husband looks up concerned and says, "Oh did my little wifey fall on her little nosey wosey?" She laughs and gets in his bed. When they are done, she gets up to go back to her bed and falls over the rug again. Her husband looks over his shoulder to see her on the floor, rolls over and says, "Clumsy bitch."