Gift for a Birthday

A fellow was very much in love with a beautiful girl. One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. He told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.
That evening he called the local florist and ordered twenty-one roses with instructions that they be delivered first thing the next morning.
As the florist was preparing the order, he decided that since the young man was such a good customer, he would put an extra dozen roses in the bouquet.
The fellow never did find out what made the young girl so angry with him.

Why Jim Smith Lost His First Love

Jim Smith wished to buy a present for his first sweetheart, and after careful consideration he decided on a pair of gloves. Accompanied by his sweetheart's sister, he went to a department store and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the items got mixed up (The sweetheart got the panties). Without checking the contents, Jim sealed his package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note. Dearest Darling,This is a little gift to show you I have not forgotten you this Christmas. I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your younger sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears the short ones that are easy to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me a pair that she had worn for three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had the sales girl try them on and she really looked smart. I wish I could put them on you the first time. No doubt, other men's hands will come in contact with them before I have the chance to see you again. When you take them off blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Be sure to keep them on when you clean them or they might shrink. I hope you like them and will wear them for me next Friday night. All My Love, Jimmy P.S. Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. Also, the sales girl showed me how they look when worn in the latest style - folded down with the fur showing.

Misunderstood

My coworker was eating an ice cream cone on her lunch break when she caught me staring at her. "Hey what's up?" she said. "Oh nothing, it's just that I want to ask for something but I'm afraid you'll misunderstand me," I replied. "Haha don't worry, I won't," she said reassuringly.
"I wanna lick it," I said. She quickly extends the ice cream cone to me, to which I said, "I knew you'd misunderstand."