Witch Wood

Q: What do you call a guy turned on by a witch?
A: Scared stiff.

Marriage Request

A guy falls in love with a very traditional and conservative girl. That means no sex before marriage. But he doesn't care, he loves her. After a year of dating he decides its time to propose to her. So he heads to her father's house to ask for his blessing.
"Hello, sir, I'm here to ask for your daughter's hand"
A bit skeptical and looking to see if he really does love her, the father asks "And why is that?"
The guy lets out a long drawn out sigh... "Well, its just that mine have gotten tired."

Big Question

Four years ago, I asked the girl of my dreams out on a date. Today, I asked her to marry me.
She said no both times.