Sex with Sister

My girlfriend's sister invited me to have sex with her while we were waiting for my girlfriend to get home. I didn't say anything and started to walk to my car. As I opened the door, my girlfriend came out from the kitchen and hugged me with tears in her eyes as she told me that it was a test of loyalty and I had passed!
Moral of the story: keep your condoms in your car.

Neighbor Noise

I knocked on my neighbor's door. I said, "I've come to complain about the noise." " That's really embarrassing," she replied, "Did you hear me and my girlfriend having sex?" "I didn't," I replied, "From now on could you please be a little louder?"

Witch Wood

Q: What do you call a guy turned on by a witch?
A: Scared stiff.