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Valentine Dreams
A woman was taking a nap one afternoon. When she work up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a beautiful and expensive diamond necklace for Valentine’s Day! What do you think the dream means?”
“You’ll find out tonight,” he said.
That evening, her husband came home with a small package for her. Thrilled, she opened it and found a book titled “How to interpret your Dreams."
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The Show
A man walks into a brothel. He walks up to the proprietor and says: "What can I get for ten dollars?" The proprietor says: "Go up the stairs, first room on the right."
The man walks into the room and sits on the bed, he notices a small door at the bottom of one of the walls. The door opens up, and a chicken comes walking out. The man has his way with the chicken. The man comes back the next day and says to the proprietor: "I didn't really like that, and I'd like a refund."
The proprietor says: "Oh, good sir, trust me. Go up the stairs, but this time go into the first room on the left, and you won't want your ten dollars back."
So the man goes into the room, and this room is much larger than the other, with theatre-type seating, and a big curtain on one side. A few people are scattered throughout the seats, and the man sits down. The curtain opens up, and it's actually large flat screen TV and what appears to be a live camera feed of an orgy. The man leans over to a guy sitting next to him and says: "Man, this is something, huh?" The other guy says: "You should have been here yesterday. Some guy was fucking a chicken."
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I'd Rather Have a Puppy.
Little Johnny is walking with his father in the park and they see two dogs locked in a sexual embrace. Little Johnny not understanding what the dogs are doing asks his father, "Daddy, what are those two dogs doing?" To which the father replies, "They are making a puppy!" Later that night Johnny wakes up and walks down the hall to his parents bedroom and catches his mother and father making love. Johnny asks his father, "Daddy what are you and mommy doing?" To which the father replies, "Johnny we are making you a little sister." Johnny thinks for a few moments and responds, "Well, daddy could you roll her over? I'd rather have a puppy!"
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