Park Registration Sheet Comments

Actual comments received in 1996 from the Bridger Wilderness registration sheets and comment cards:

• Trails need to be wider so people can walk while holding hands.
• Instead of a permit system or regulations, the Forest Service needs to reduce world-wide population growth to limit the number of visitors to wilderness.
• Ban walking sticks in wilderness. Hikers that use walking sticks are more likely to chase animals.
• All the mile markers are missing this year.
• Found a smoldering cigarette left by a horse.
• Trail needs to be reconstructed.
• Please avoid building trails that go uphill.
• Too many bugs and leaches and spiders and spider webs.Please spray the wilderness to rid the area of these pests.
• Please pave the trails so they can be plowed of snow during the winter.
• Chairlifts need to be in some places so that we can get to wonderful views without having to hike to them.
• The coyotes made too much noise last night and kept me awake. Please eradicate these annoying animals.
• A small deer came into my camp and stole my jar of pickles. Is there a way I can get reimbursed? Please call __ __ __.
• Reflectors need to be placed on trees every 50 feet so people can hike at night with flashlights.
• Escalators would help on steep uphill sections.
• Need more signs to keep area pristine.
• A McDonalds would be nice at the trail head.
• The places where trails do not exist are not well marked.
• I brought lots of sandwich makings, but forgot bread. If you have extra bread, leave it in the yellow tent at V Lake.
• Too many rocks in the mountains.

Important Thoughts

• You can listen to thunder after lightening and tell how close you came to getting hit. If you don't hear it you got hit, so never mind.
• Talc is found on rocks and on babies.
• The law of gravity says no fair jumping up without coming back down.
• When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.
• When people run around and around in circles we say they are crazy. When planets do it we say they are orbiting.
• Rainbows are just to look at, not to really understand.
• While the earth seems to be knowingly keeping its distance from the sun, it is really only centrificating.
• Someday we may discover how to make magnets that can point in any direction.
• South America has cold summers and hot winters, but somehow they still manage.
• Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.
• Water freezes at 32 degrees and boils at 212 degrees. There are 180 degrees between freezing and boiling because there are 180 degrees between north and south.
• A vibration is a motion that cannot make up its mind which way it wants to go.
• There are 26 vitamins in all, but some of the letters are yet to be discovered. Finding them all means living forever.
• There is a tremendous weight pushing down on the center of the Earth because of so much population stomping around up there these days.
• Lime is a green-tasting rock.
• Many dead animals in the past changed to fossils while others preferred to be oil.
• Genetics explain why you look like your father and if you don't why you should.
• Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.
• Some oxygen molecules help fires burn while others help make water, so sometimes it's brother against brother.
• Some people can tell what time it is by looking at the sun. But I have never been able to make out the numbers.
• We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.
• To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.
• In looking at a drop of water under a microscope, we find there are twice as many H's as O's.
• Clouds are high flying fogs.
• I am not sure how clouds get formed. But the clouds know how to do it, and that is the important thing.
• Clouds just keep circling the earth around and around. And around. There is not much else to do.
• Water vapor gets together in a cloud. When it is big enough to be called a drop, it does.
• Humidity is the experience of looking for air and finding water.
• We keep track of the humidity in the air so we won't drown when we breathe.
• Rain is often known as soft water, oppositely known as hail.
• Rain is saved up in cloud banks.
• In some rocks you can find the fossil footprints of fishes.
• Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.
• A blizzard is when it snows sideways.
• A hurricane is a breeze of a bigly size.
• A monsoon is a French gentleman.
• Thunder is a rich source of loudness.
• Isotherms and isobars are even more important than their names sound.
• It is so hot in some places that the people there have to live in other places.
• The wind is like the air, only pushier.

Oklahoma Crazy Law

• It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in your boots.
• Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
• It is illegal to wear your boots to bed.
• Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public bus.
• Tissues are not to be found in the back of one's car.
• Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of another's hamburger.
• No one may spit on a sidewalk.
• Females are forbidden from doing their own hair without being licensed by the state.
• Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings. (Repealed)
• Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have their name and picture shown on television.
• It is against the law to read a comic book while operating a motor vehicle.
• Whaling is illegal.
• Violators can be fined, arrested or jailed for making ugly faces at a dog.
• Tattoos are banned.
• Residents are taxed for the furniture in their homes, and any other personal belongings. (Repealed 1998)
• People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.
• Ada If you wear New York Jets clothing, you may be put in jail.
• Clinton Molesting an automobile is illegal.
• It is unlawful to put any hypnotized person in a display window.
• Oklahoma City - No one may walk backwards downtown while eating a hamburger.
• Schulter - Women may not gamble in the nude, in lingerie, or while wearing a towel.
• Tulsa - You may not open a soda bottle without the supervision of a licensed engineer.
• Elephants are not to be taken into the downtown area.
• Wynona - One's mode of transportation must be tied up while not attended.
• Mules may not drink out of bird baths.
• Clothes may not be washed in bird baths.
• Yukon - It is illegal to tie a horse in front of city hall.
• While passing another vehicle, you must honk your horn.